How to deal with blame

We all have a blame blob in us.

The bit of us that wants to point the finger - and often does. That makes unfair judgements and generalisations about a person's character instead of focusing on their failed actions. That would rather criticise someone else than face uncomfortable emotions like inadequacy, vulnerability or fear. The urge to blame is very human but unhelpful. It instantly derails difficult conversations and can greatly damage your most important relationships.

 
Blame Blob 1 - link.png
 

There is good news though! The Blame Blob can be tamed and trained! Hooray!

 
Blame Blob 2 - link.png
 


Here are some key Conflict Agility tips to transform your Blame Blob into your best ally:

  • Remember that there are no failed people, only failed actions: focus on what someone did wrong without making them wrong as human beings.

  • Refrain from interpreting behaviour and making judgements.

  • Instead, make a healthy complaint by sticking to facts and objective observations.

  • Let the other person know how you feel whilst remembering that your feelings are no one's responsibility but yours.

  • Share what you wish the person would do differently.

  • Stay curious and practice empathy.

  • Listen well to foster dialogue.

 
Blame Blob 3 - link.png
 


Let me know how you get on!

Julie Leitz